“True Blood” Angers Dental Assistant!

A dental worker wrote to The Answer B!tch asking why “the vampires’ fangs are on their laterals and not their cuspids?”  Claiming this didn’t make sense and it was “driving [her] crazy”.

Surprisingly, rather than laughing, she offers this detailed answer:

First of all, you should know that vampires have a long history of arbitrary fang placement. True. Yes. It goes back at least as far as the 1922 classic Nosferatu, whose main monster looked like a carnivorous mole rat thanks to a pair of fangs where his two front incisors should have been.

Fast forward a few decades, and you have the neo-classic The Lost Boys, in which Kiefer Sutherland and others sported pointy lateral incisors, just like the vamps on True Blood.

And don’t forget 30 Days of Night; every single monster tooth was a pointy, deadly little corn nugget. Yes, the classic Christopher Lee Dracula character featured a pair of stabby cuspids—as did Blackula—but as you can see, super-sharp cuspids are far from de rigueur among fashionable creatures of the night.

So why might True Blood show creator Alan Ball have favored lateral incisor enhancement? Well, this is what he told NPR’s Dave Davies last year:

“We created fangs that actually lie flat along the roof of the mouth and then click into place when a vampire is in danger or aroused or ready to feed, much like a rattlesnake’s fangs click into place. Then we put the fangs not with the four front teeth between them, but with only two because it worked better for the physiology of the rattlesnake, the snake fang working.

“And I like that, because it looks a little different. It doesn’t look like the classic thing.”  See? Vampire science and all that.

Hmmm … TMI on the vamp fang placement.  Or as the kidz are saything these days:  TL/DR.


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